Casual sex often gets a bad rep because people don’t do it right. There’s nothing wrong with casual sex and it comes in handy when you’re trying to get over an ex (trust me, it works) or just need to scratch an itch. Sometimes people just want sex without the feels; sex without the commitment and expectations of a relationship and that’s completely fine as long as you do it right.
Communication is a Major Key
Communication is probably the most important part of casual sex. You should be honest about what you want and make sure you’re on the same page about the arrangement and what you (don’t) expect from each other. If you want to see other people while this is ongoing, be honest about that too. It’s important to clear the confusion before there’s even any! That way, no one will get hurt or claim they were used.
It’s also important to communicate about the sex itself. The nice thing about casual sex is that you can leave your inhibitions at the door (along with your feelings) so you’re free to get as kinky as you want as long as you’re both comfortable.
Leave Romance Out of It
“Do not go out of your way to act like her boyfriend if that is not what you agreed upon going into this. Bringing romantic gifts to a sex appointment is a big NO. This has happened to me along with forehead kisses and cuddles, luckily it didn’t end up messy but it easily could have. She will catch feelings and you cannot be shocked or act like an asshole when she does,” said Simbongile Ndlangisa.
One of the biggest mistakes that people make in casual relationships is that they act like they’re in a romantic relationship. Leave your feelings out of it and make sure they stay there by keeping it about the sex. Avoid sleepovers if possible. Sleepovers lead to cuddles. Cuddles are for couples. They also lead to pillow talk; next thing you’ll be sharing childhood memories, life goals and your deepest fears. Instead of doing all those things just have sex; lots and lots of sex. Avoid doing anything that resembles a romantic relationship unless you have both agreed to change the setup.
Don’t Be an Ass
Treat your sex partner like a human being; being a nice person and treating them with respect doesn’t mean they will catch feelings. If they’re at your place, offer them something to drink and make sure they are comfortable.
Make sure that your place is clean. Expecting your sex partner to have sex with you in a filthy room/house just because they are not your girlfriend/boyfriend makes you an ass in my opinion. Don’t be an ass, clean up!
Give them what they came for! Just because it’s casual sex doesn’t mean you should only care about your own satisfaction and disregard your partner’s needs. You guys are both in this setup because you want pleasure, it goes both ways.
The truth about casual sex though is that it’s unsustainable so at some point it’s definitely going to end. It might be because feelings got in the way or that the sex got old. It could also be because one of you found someone else. Whatever the reason, the key is to communicate about this too. Disappearing acts are not condoned. Let the other person know that you’re no longer interested.